MUESTRA DE ESCRITURA NARRATIVA DE UN ALUMNO

Interrumpo la explicación de la comprensión auditiva para mostrar la SEGUNDA COMPOSICIÓN de un alumno de nivel intermedio-avanzado.

El prompt era la última oración, y la publico tal cual la entregó, en crudo y sin correcciones. Me gustaría recoger opiniones de profes y estudiantes  al respecto. Aquí va:

 

She looked into the spoon as somebody could look into the mirror. Really it might have been like those strange mirrors that make you appear fat or thin or round or eliptic. It depended on the way you put it, the concave side, the convex one, vertical or horizontal, all these showed different images, all of them deformed….. Like the way you may see reality, always deformed. And then it is you that have to make a decision : I will look it this way , or no, better this one. And why are they so different? If it is only your eye that you can see into the spoon ? What did her eye tell her?
She saw what she saw and it was impossible to take that image out of her eye because it had gone very quickly into her brain. The brain had swallowed that horrible scene and she could not take it out from it, even if she took out her eye ! As Oedipus did ! He blinded himself for his sins . But who is not to be blamed? The one who feels not guilty should throw the first stone. Stones and stones for the sins! Whose sins ? His ? Hers? Were they sins or simple acts of inhumanity carried out by human beings without love ?
She turned the spoon from one side to the other , from the concave to the convex, and she only saw her deformed eye. The deformed reality . The image in her brain was fading. She looked all around her. Not a sound. pure silence. Then….. she took a last look at the silver spoon and droped it into the garbage can.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s